1. |
Monsters
02:14
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Monsters aren't real is what I was told so very long ago when I saw them crawl out from under my bed.
But what happens now that I'm old and I still hear their voices and feel their hands wrapped around my neck?
What happens now that I still have the cracks in my mind they left every time they took from me what was never theirs to have.
Ghosts don't exist yet they follow me whenever I open my eyes
I'm repeatedly haunted by visions of me, you, us, she, him, we, and every little toxic thing in between.
But monsters aren't real and ghosts don't exist.
The darkness won't always be out to play I promise those pesky things will be vanquished one day.
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2. |
Imbroglio
02:25
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My heart's a mess today just want to float away live somewhere in Space and chill with my alien friends
My lungs won't work today I'm just waiting for them to deflate since Oxygen is too heavy of a weight
Sometimes I can't get out of cause memories are bouncing to and fro inside my head.
Then comes the anxiety that never fails to bring me to my knees.
My stomach's away on break I can't gather the courage to ask it to please stay
My brain can't seem to find the sheep that are meant to help me get to sleep.
Sometimes I can't even hop in the shower but that only happens when The Nothing has me mostly devoured
Then comes a weak little prayer asking God to help me see just a tiny glimpse of light to know I'm alright.
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3. |
Dissociation
01:43
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3 am finds me wide awake again
The voices in my head are screaming at me
I don't want to be alone but there no one left to call so I guess it's just me and these ghosts for company
Oh no here they come the shadows dancing on my wall
Oh no I can't run cause I spent the last of my energy trying to be present
Days fade into months, time keeps rambling on but I remain stuck as everyone floats right past me
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4. |
Neverland Interlude
00:55
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'm in hiding while maintaining the statement I'm still on the path to self discovery.
But the fact is I've known for quite some time that I am more Peter Pan than Wendy.
Yet still I go between Neverland and the Darlings.
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5. |
Arachnophobia
02:26
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Spiders crawling out of my headspace everyday
Go build your webs some other place
I'm tired of seeing your eyes as I try to fall asleep
The wounds are still bleeding from the tracks your feet leave behind on my skin
My veins are constantly drained of the poison your fangs infect me with
Spiders eating my insides causing me to long for a silence that only death could bring
When you gang up on me I get really scared I start to scream and shake
I'm living a nightmare wide awake
So tell me how am I meant to be a normal person when I've got this crippling arachnophobia?
That makes me want to die, it makes me want to die sometimes.
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Peregrination South Carolina
Heartfelt tunes for sad fruits.
Influences: Phoebe Bridgers, My dog, Iced Coffee, Religious trauma.
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